Technologically speaking, I have found my place in thickening cement while others around me seem to be fluttering about like hummingbirds.  How is it that I have accrued a heaping junk yard of wires, cables and damaged electronics?  While my single friends voice complaints about being a magnet for eligible losers, I somehow have gotten the honor of attracting worthless technology.  Computers, cell phones, internet service, cable, DVD player – they all hate me.  And the irony of the moment they decide to quit never seems so funny at the time. 

I believe my technology funk started several years ago.  My husband, Regg, and I purchased a laptop to replace our old computers in preparation for graduate school.  I was so proud of the crisp clean white at the beginning, she even received the name White Lightening for how quick she was.  This computer was frequently shared with friends when they visited our home, each got a chuckle out of the password used to gain access to the computer.  The password was OBRO – meaning Operation Block Regg Out, a lesson my husband learned the hard way about keeping an individual password on his account for a shared computer where I acted as the administrator.  My husband and I both used the computer throughout each of our grad school programs, we stored music, played games, Facebooked, edited movies and photos.  This seemed to be very average usage for 2 years until the screen went blank.  We took this laptop to a computer geek shop and with our explanation and one glance at the computer the geek behind the counter promptly handed us instructions to a class action lawsuit.  “We’ve seen quite a few of these, there is nothing you can do to fix it,” he said.

It’s my understanding this well-known and well liked computer company created these well purchased laptops and quickly found out each one would well…  eventually fail.  I guess since kids will not eat it and get sick or stick their heads between them and choke computer companies are not held to the same recall standards?  Instead, those who unknowingly invested hard-earned income on a computer with a short expiration date are just out of luck.  Since the death of White Lightening we have tried to patch our computer needs cheaply with refurbished computers.  And while I’m sure some technologically savvy individuals could get them to adequate working condition – I only seem to be able to get computers to move slowly and to freeze.

My technology funk doesn’t stop with computers though.  I have a home that acts as a bomb shelter for cell phone reception, a “smart” cell phone that screens my calls by deciding when I will get to answer and exactly how quickly the call will be dropped, cable where the picture is more often than not jumping or freezing, an extra Playstation since the first was turned over accidentally by an excited terrier, and internet disconnected by squirrels to name a few. 

Technology can be so inspiring and yet so infuriating at the same time.  It seems that everything is connected to electronics and when flowing smoothly you can be quick, creative and have a world of information at your fingertips.  And then there are some days, and in my case a long period of time, where you are aware of the possibilities and nothing seems to be computing right.